11. Afraid? Turn to God

It was brought to my attention last week that the owner of the catering company might be taking a hiatus from the catering side of her business for a bit, so I finished out my last couple of days last week.  I have had time to reflect and look to the lord for answers as to where my next step is to be.  The lord has provided enough to take care of my portion of my son's daycare and rent for the beginning of the month.  The funny thing is as I look upon this situation I am not worried, fearful, scared, or upset.  In the past I would have said, "Why me?", and become focused on the wrong thing.  Listening to James MacDonald during one of his sermons he made the point of "love the promiser, not the promise."  I know the lord will provide for His plans are to not only prosper me but every one of us so long as we turn to Him for guidance, forgiveness, and provision.  It has not yet, at this point, been revealed to me what I should do in regards for a job, or finances but what I do have is the Lord's promise.  This trial may have just begun but the same God that led me in will lead me out and he will provide me my own promised land.  For the Lord's word is truth and therefore trustworthy.  I thank the Lord for this opportunity he has given me to be able to grow closer to Him through the trials I am given, his word, and the teaching of his word.

Should you find yourself in a situation similar to this look to the Lord, pray for answers and guidance.  The one thing we need to remember is if we ask it shall be given so long as what we are asking for does not go against God.  God is not a hypocrite and He will never give anything that hurts us.  Also when we ask we may be given an answer that as human's we don't like.  If it is an answer from God it is good, it is true, and it is to be acted on whether or not we can see the end result.  Where the Lord goes we should follow, and where the Lord stays we should stay.  Ask and it will be given, just have the faith and believe that the Lord will provide.  

10. Our Mistakes Don't Define Who We Are

About a week ago I attempted to bake for the first time since I had left culinary school.  Now the one thing I can say is this, cooking is easy and baking is a practice.  Needless to say I was disappointed in the end results.  This isn't to say the bread was burned, or inedible but I had made one mistake during the mixing process so the bread turned out denser than I would have liked.  I brought one loaf to my brother and his family and shared it with them during a family meal, there was none left afterwards but I was still disappointed in what I had produced.  A couple of  days later my girlfriend came over and as we were preparing dinner I had mention the bread and how I didn't know what to do with it since it wasn't "good" without having seen, or tasted the product she mentions "why not make bruschetta?".  Now I have to say this woman amazes me to no end.  Later on that evening she tried some of the bread and instead of critiquing it herself she allowed me to troubleshoot and figure out what I had done wrong.  One mistake was all that was made and I was ready to never attempt to make this bread again.  This is the story of my life and probably everyone's life to some degree or another.  The lord often uses other people to get his point across, for the better portion of my life all it took was one mistake to trip me up, bring out my negativity, and walk away from any other attempt at trying.  She made the point that first of all there are many people in the world that can't even attempt to look a recipe let alone take it from start to finish, I had not thrown the bread so on some level I was proud of what I had done, and out of this one this I could make at least a half a dozen other dishes.  

There are many verses in the Bible that talk about mistakes but they all sum up to one thing and this is the same thing I was told by the lord through my girlfriend "Your mistakes do not define you."  To use a quote from scripture "I am a new creation.  The old is gone and the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17.  I have allowed my mistakes to define me for most of my life and it is time to be made new.  The next day my brother and I talked for some length about our dreams, inspirations, life in general.  For the first time that I can remember my brother and I had a conversation without wanting to kill each other afterwards.  There were a couple of reasons as to why one: I was open to hear what was being said and two: my brother wasn't on the attack trying to force his opinion.  I have always said I couldn't work with my brother but after he and I conversed with each other as adults, peers, and brothers my mind was changed.  Yeah we still have a long way to go but the first step has been taken.  That night during practice at church I am given a bass guitar to learn.  I had not mentioned learning this instrument to the group for quite some time and our lead pianist had one lying around not being used.  So after all of this, all of my mistakes, and my resignation to no longer let my mistakes define, I am given an instrument I have always wanted to learn.  There is no way I can't make mistakes on this instrument but I'll have to work through them, and my brother plays the guitar therefore to get started I have to work with him since I can't afford lessons so we will have to continue working together.  The lord works in amazing ways and with the Lord guiding me, and teaching me I know I can overcome this obstacle/test.

9. Follower or Believer

In the recent months I have started listening to Christian radio stations such as Family Life Radio.  While listening to this station in particular I was exposed to preachers such as Dr. Charles Stanley, Chuck Swindoll, and James MacDonald.  I personally enjoy hearing the messages that are shared by these men as they have opened my eyes to new concepts of faith and direction on how to live and walk with our Lord.  One sermon in particular that caught my attention was from Dr. Charles Stanley.  In his sermon he was talking about the difference between a follower and a believer in Christ.  He uses the passage from Luke 9:57-62.  This passage describes the "cost" of following Jesus.  It is easy for us to say we believe in Jesus as our Savior but when we are called to follow do we drop our "nets" as the disciples did or do we create excuses and look back at our past using what we were as a way out as the men in the passage of Luke did.  I can honestly say I am a believer of Jesus but do I have what it takes to follow the Lord?  Today I think we as believers should take time to pray to the Lord for the strength and courage to become the followers the Lord has called us to be.  A song that has inspired me and on multiple occasions reminded me that the Lord will be with us is "Strong Enough to Save" by Tenth Ave North.

8. Dawn of a New Day

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:34 (NIV)

As the title of the post states today was the dawn of a new day.  The Lord has been gracious and wonderful in His provisions over the course of the weekend.  I met with the owner of the catering company and received compensation for the two days I spent there, which was just what I needed to make sure my rent was covered.  I was also invited back to continue helping for a couple days a week.  The Lord gave me an answer to the question of the job as well, this job is to help supplement but it is not where the entirety of my time should be dedicated too.  Over the last two weeks as I share this story with people it has been brought up several times that what I'm doing is as some have said "crazy".  I just want to share a little more of my situation so the picture is a little clearer.  As I said I am a single father, I get to see my son every other weekend and once during the week.  I live by myself and handle all of my own finances and bills (in the sense that I am a single income, because we know the Lord provides the finances).  At this point I am completely dedicated to this walk with the Lord and should I fail it is because I did not listen and obey when the Lord called and spoke.  Yes this might sound crazy but we have to remember that faith will fly in the face of human rationale and reasoning.  We don't know what will happen therefore we have to depend on the Lord to guide and provide for us.  The scripture quote from Matthew indicates that we should only worry about the problems we face today as tomorrow will present its own set of a problems maybe some old and some new but who knows.  When we trust in the Lord and believe and have faith that He will provide for our needs then our worry, doubt, and fear begin to subside and the problems of today and tomorrow grow dim.  This is just my opinion of course but I am experiencing this day by day.  The Lord has renewed my strength, my mind, my heart, and my faith.  Thank you Lord for all of the blessings you have poured out on me and your people, may we continue to be moved by your Holy Spirit and guided closer to You and Your Son Jesus Christ.

Amen

7. The Final Hours

I have had time to reflect on my life over the course of the last year.  This was an abridged version again for the reader and I thank you for your time.  The Lord has not quite given me my next step, I did receive a response from the catering company checking what my availability is.  So over the course of this weekend once I have left my current job and can no longer turn back I will pray to the Lord for guidance and to provide an answer.  If it is the Lord's will to continue with the catering company than I will follow, if it happens to be something else that has not yet been revealed than I will follow.  I trust in the Lord my God, my Savior for He has provided all that is good and will never let me fail.  As I follow I will look to the Lord for guidance, protection, awareness, and help.  I hope you will continue to follow with me as I walk with the Lord on this journey.  I will update this blog as these events unfold and I leave you with one of my favorites scriptures:

"Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge"
Psalm 62:8 (NIV)

Amen

6. Two Days in the Desert

This is a conversation I had with one of my co-workers after going to the catering company and trying it out.  I have omitted the names and unimportant conversation out of respect for my co-worker and the reader.

 

I was helping out at this catering company the past couple of days.

7:31

I see how you are, taking time off to make money!

7:32

It wasn't that at all, I'm not worried about the money.  A couple of people at my church run a catering couple and word got around to them that I was leaving my current position so they approached me to help for a couple of days to see if I liked it

Turns out it was a test

7:36 AMWright, Jonathan

I was told to go by the Lord, it wasn't my decision

7:38 AMGrover, Kristoffer

I know how that feels, that's why I moved back here from Idaho.  Apparently He wants me to be poor

7:39

Haha that's not it at all.  Like I said I was being tested the past couple of days and I was given my answer last night

7:40

Well that is good

7:47

I'm going to share it with so you'll know.  During the catering gigs I felt like I was failing, my cooking wasn't up to my standard and I felt like I wasn't doing anything right.  I have probably prayed more in the past two days than I have in the past two months.  I was praying for the Lord to be with me and help but it was coming from a state of frustration, impatience, and anger.  Therefore my prayer was completely unfocused and I was working long hours so I'm two days behind on my Bible study.  That is the devil at work, he excels at chaos and distraction.  I was praying while being distracted.

7:48

But you were still praying!

7:53

Well last night after band practice, I play keyboard in the music ministry for my church, I spoke to both of my pastors last night.  I had been praying for the Lord to be with me and help me.  He's been doing that all along therefore I was praying for an answered prayer.  What I should have been doing was asking the Lord what he wanted me to do at this new place he has put me in order to further his church, his name, and his glory.  A lot of times we don't understand what or why we are put in certain situations.  The Lord is all seeing and all knowing he has plans for all of us, but when we get distracted by work, finances, stress, anger, frustration the devil will use that against us.  So we need to pray to Lord to help guide us and open our eyes to see what he has called us to do to further his glory.  In asking, the Lord will answer and he will guide us through.  I don't think I'm done yet at this catering place but now the Lord has blessed me with one more tool to I can use to reach out to him to have him guide me.

7:57

Awesome, He said knock and I will answer, we just need to ask.  He is constantly teaching us so sometimes we need to learn to ask the right questions.  Its great insight.

8:03

As my pastor put it God is not a God of silence unless we're asking the wrong the questions.  So when we approach things we need to remember to turn God and ask God to show us how we can bless and glorify his name in what we are doing.  And we have to remember to be aware of the deceiver, he will do what he can to come between us and the Lord so when we step out in Faith we must ask the Lord to protect and to guide us.  These insights were shared with me so that I may share them with my fellow believers and that we may grow stronger in our Faith and that our Lord can be glorified.  He's working on all of us, we just need to be accepting of what he will ask (and sometimes command) us to do and have Faith that the Lord will see us through the good, and "bad".

 

In two days I had reverted back to the person I was a year ago.  I still leaned on the Lord for help but I was unfocused and approaching the Lord for help from a point of self centeredness.  As I walk this path I know the Lord will guide me and protect me, He catches us when we fall, He helps us when He asks, He guides us when we're lost.   

5. The Walk with God Begins

As I have been able to grow in my faith and be a part of the Lord's work through his music ministry I have continued to grow in my prayer.  About three or four months ago as I was praying I prayed for the Lord to use me to bring his people closer to Him.  At the beginning of October I was prompted, convicted, and/or commanded by the Lord to leave my current job position.  I wouldn't call it a dream or a vision because I was not necessarily asleep at the time this happened.  Imagine yourself sitting or standing in the middle of a very busy airport terminal or mall.  There is just constant movement and commotion.  In the midst of all of this a voice tells you "you need to leave your job" and without hesitation, without question of who or where it came from you respond "I know".  That was how I was prompted.  Now keep in mind I enjoy what I do, and with all of my financial responsibilities I have no human reason to leave my job without having another one lined up.  The morning after this came to me I was so moved by the messages I was hearing on the radio, by the way I felt and how strongly this "vision/dream"stayed with me that I broke down and cried.  My doubt and fear were staring me in the face, how could I just walk away without being given the next step.  Why would I be called to do something so ridiculous.  Because faith fly's in the face of human reasoning and rationale.  Needless to say I started to drag my heels, I wouldn't couldn't move without being told the next step.  I tried to find every excuse not to leave, but everyone I talked to over the course of the week my pastor's, my brother, my co-workers.  All signs pointed to "You have to do this, you have to have faith and trust in the Lord".  Now when God calls we are supposed to respond immediately but He know's all of us inside and out.  He's knows that with some of us (myself included) He needs to call several times.  We are on God's timetable and we don't know what that timetable is.  I responded after I got what I felt was my last call.  I turned in my two notice and resignation letter, within a couple of days I was called by a catering company to come down and check out the operation and help out.